Funeral Amnesia and Missing Conversations

I walked into the hospital room a couple of steps behind my dad who swung back the curtain that’s supposed to provide a modicum of privacy. There lay a yellow man shaking and moaning. Tubes jammed up his nose and smaller intravenous lines running along what used to be strong arms. Eyes mostly closed but unfocused when his eyelids fluttered. To this day, I wondered what he saw? Visions. Blackness. Memories. 

Dad whispered, “he’s got the DTs. It won’t be long now”. Looking back, I’m not sure why he whispered. Why do any of us whisper when on death’s doorstep? Maybe it’s out of respect. Maybe we think they will hear us. Maybe there’s a glimmer of hope among those folks who are “glass half full types”. I’m not one of them. I’m a boxer that takes that initial punch, then fights like hell but accepts the consequences of the round when the bell rings.

Even at age 13, I knew DT’s meant Delirium Tremens signaling end stage alcoholism. Being Irish-American, it’s that ghost that lurks in the liquor cabinets calling your name at the happy times, the sad times and the lonely times. Even now in my retirement years, that specter haunts me as I polish off a bottle during evenings of reading and writing. Gotta keep that ghost in the closet.

Back at the hospital, uncle Charlie was a shadow of his former six foot 300 pound self.  In healthier days, he sported a Santa Claus physique. His personality, as best I could tell, was not that of jolly old St. Nick.  I’m not implying he was nasty, cranky or cantankerous. As a matter of fact, I heard he was not a mean drunk. Thank goodness since he was never without a revolver and a blackjack. I also never heard stories about  beating his wife (my beloved Aunt Margaret) who was his drinking partner and a nice person.

I had very few interactions with uncle Charlie. I wish I asked him what it was like to be a cop in the 1960’s in the midst of race riots. As a history buff who’s a junkie for all topics about societal issues, I hunger for such conversations. Since I’m now a retired mall cop, we could have spent hours trading stories, escapades and commiserating about society’s challenges. But that was not to be. Alcoholism took him too soon, I was sheltered from that scourge and I was born too late. Years later my aunt Agnes told me about the time a car ripped the stripe off the side of his pants while he was directing traffic. And then there was the time he reportedly fake arrested her as a shoplifter on Main Street much to her embarrassment. It was all for a good cause. He had to have an excuse to put her in the patrol car to give her a ride home since she was loaded down with groceries. Reportedly there was an incident when he and another cop were checking out a building responding to a burglary call. For some reason, he and his partner were in separate sections of the building and the partner’s gun accidentally discharged. This was back in the day when cops actually walked beats and before SWAT teams. This was in a time when you didn’t have to account for your ammo or fill out paperwork concerning such incidents. First hand accounts from Charlie would have been nice but at least my aunt passed down what now is family folklore. My gnawing regret is that I only knew him in two dimensions as a cop and an alcoholic. And he was  good at being both. My first cousin, who was 12 years older than me, mentioned he appreciated that Charlie was like a father to him because his own dad was what I guess you would call a “working alcoholic”. Again, troubles swirled around but I was young and buffered from these storms. This enabling me to be the first on this side of the family to go on to college and even on to graduate school.

I don’t recall discussions about Charlie at the dinner table even though his downward spiral had to have weighed heavy on all family members. We lived in the same town,  he was a local cop and WW2 vet. I wish I had been privy to his current struggles, hopes and dreams. He served in the army in the campaign to rid Italy of Mussolini. I heard that he was blown out of a foxhole and for a time his young bride thought he might have died. Fortunately he was patched up with no long term physical ailments. Though now that I’m retired from a career related to mental health and addictions, I wonder what psychological scars remained and what role they might have played with the alcoholism. With no conversations and the misalignment of time with me being a kid and him being an adult, I will never know.

 Being kept in the dark and sheltered from family troubles and financial troubles was a characteristic of growing up in the 1960’s and 1970’s,  It’s also a characteristic of  Irish-Catholic and Irish American households. The best demonstration of  compartmentalism and sweeping your troubles under the carpet is how the Irish make references to the “Troubles” when describing what’s really civil wars and rebellions.

Looking back to that hospital visit, I wondered about its circumstances and purpose.

Did my dad want to make sure I got a first hand glimpse of alcoholism’s descent into hell. Did he want this to be a scared-straight type experience?

Was my dad notified that this would be a last-chance visit to see his older brother? My mom worked the day shift and dad worked the midnight shift, so maybe I was tagging along just so I would not be left alone.

Answers to these questions I will never know. Leading up to this hospital visit, during it and after it, I don’t recall any debriefing or in depth conversation. This pattern of doing but never discussing is a recurring theme for most events of my life. 

Even when it was time to attend uncle Charlie’s wake and funeral, which presumably happened soon after that hospital visit, I’m hazy about what transpired. I’m even a bit embarrassed about being unclear as to whether I attended. I’m assuming I did since it happened way before I went off to college. It was at his wake that I recall my uncle Louie (my fathers and my uncle Charlie’s oldest brother) making the following remarks under his breath after mourners offered the traditional consolation “sorry for your troubles”  (there’s that word “troubles” again):

After one mourner passed beyond ear shot, Uncle Louie remarked:

“I’d like to punch that sneaky bastard in the mouth. Screwed me in a deal”.

After another mourner passed, he informed me “that’s the king”, to which I asked “the king of what? He said “the chairman of the local political party and he’s a high ranking state official”. Maybe that’s when I decided to major in political science in college. 

I’m wondering if I suffer from a special kind of amnesia in which I remember snippets of what should have been a panoramic recollection of memorable and emotional events. I’ve attended my share of weddings, funerals, and graduations. But the memories are choppy. It’s like knowing you attended a movie but you only recall certain lines and scenes. It concerns me that I only recall the anecdotal, quirky and weird stuff. Even worse, I have difficulty remembering if I even attended these supposedly momentous events. Was I AWOL?  If so, what else was I doing? Was I in attendance but somehow disconnected like a sleepwalker or zombie?  

I’ve wrestled with this sense of selective amnesia and missing conversations. I’ve come  to the following solution. I’ve made a concerted effort to have in-depth and candid discussions with my kids on matters such as family, finances, troubles and the watershed moments of life. I’m hell bent on making sure they remain aware of the big picture and as the saying goes “not miss the forest for the trees”.        

Retirement: Digital Reflections While Getting My Affairs In Order

Drowning In Paper and Clutter

Since I retired this month, I have spent at least an hour or two every day reviewing financial papers and other seemingly important household files and documents while I scan, save and shred them. Its a laborious but necessary task getting my affairs in order. For the record, as far as I know, I’m in good health. I’m doing this for my own sanity and my goal is to have everything in order so my kids are not burdened by this mess in the event of my death.

While perusing the “paper trail of my life”, the following reflections, observations, emotions and recommendations have bubbled to the surface:

  • An inordinate amount of life and energy has been spent treading water just staying above the financial water line working 2 and 3 jobs at the same time. Keeping up with daily expenses is akin to the expression “missing the forrest for the trees”.
  • The daily grind of lifes routine prevents comtemplation, reflection or an understanding of the bigger picture concerning finances, careers, plans, goals, hopes and dreams. In sum, it’s a deadening, numbing, soul crushing treadmill of missed opportunities. Now that I’m retired and sorting this material, I better understand priorities and how things work. My thoughts drift into that realm of “wooda-coulda-shoudda”. Unfortuatey, as a boomer it’s very late in the game. I guess it’s better late than never. If only I had a better sense of the big picture much earlier in life, I might have had a more productive, lucrative and relaxed life.
  • Seeing the mountain of paper, documents, financial statements and files while viewing the miniscule amounts of savings and investments seems absurd. The phrase “much ado about nothing” comes to mind. I yearn for a simple, uncluttered life following the mantra of KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). A wave of emotional and physical exhaustion washed over me while reviewing files concerning what at the time were urgent and complicated matters such as home buying, car buying, college debt financing, medical expenses, insurance expenses and finances in general. For a simple, working class guy like me, I wish there was some sort of postcard size format that addressed the absolute basics: food, clothing, shelter and medical expenses to patch me up if I get sick. Noting elaborate concerning these basic human needs. Is this simple life too much to ask for? I haven’t worked in the coal mines and textile plants like my ancestors. However, while digitizing this material, I now share a kindred spirit with them plodding from sun up to sun down putting one foot ahead of the other. I have found no records of love letters, exotic trips, life changing events or new paridims of thinking. There are only tax filings, W2’s, mortgages, and the never ending treadmill of invoices. There must be more to life than this.
  • My advice to the younger generation includes the following: invest early, often and wisely. Live below your means. Avoid interest charges and credit debt to the greatest extent possible. Get an annual fiscal check up just like you get a physical check up and routine teeth cleaning. The earlier you can get a handle on “how things really work and what’s really important” the better off you will be in the long run. Don’t be a late-blooming boomer. Be the captain of your ship. Don’t drift with the tide. My advice to youngsters (and anyone for that matter) is to aim your ship to high ground. From there you will operate from positions of strength, maintaining low or no debts, high levels of equity and be vigilant to pursue opportunities as they arise.
  • Beyond running the good race and running on empty most of my life, I wondered what else has occupied my time and energy all these years. The answer: minuscia. Obligations and committments (work, family, scheduling necessities) that for the most part have been externally imposed upon me. Urgent pressing matters swirlling in my head all these years revolve aroud questions such as “what do I do next and when do I do it”. Putting my house in order has made me realize that I have been living in the world of “what’s next”

So that’s my 2 cents (or factoring in for hig inflation, make that 10 cents). I would be delighted to know what reflections others have as they “Get Their Houses In Order”

History Repeats Itself: Internationally, Domestically and Ancestrally

While contemplating international relations and domestic relations and ancestrial relations, I observed a pattern of history repeating itself highlighted as follows:

Internationally

  • Roman empire overextends and declines from within. So it is with most every other empire since then. USA might be on same track
  • Napolian invades Russia, gets overextended, defeated
  • Hitler invades Russia, gets overexended, defeated
  • WW1 sets stage for WW2
  • England, Soviet Union, USA all occupy Afganistan, all fail
  • French and then USA defeated in Vietnam
  • Nation building (re-building) with the possible exception of the Marshall Plan in western Europe (and that was fuelled by fear of expanding communism post WW2) has been unsuccessful
  • Flashpoints justifying the start of war turn out to be murky at best and fake at worst. Example: “Remember the Maine” battle cry when USA ship mysteriously blew up in Havanna harbor in Cuba triggered the Spanish-American war. The Gulf of Tonkin incident that reportedly involved North Vietnamese attack on USA ship turned out to be false.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. International relations shows characteristics of insanity

Domestically

  • Economic crashes (from small to large) all involve a bubble that bursts. What causes a bubble? Greed and an assumption that this time it will be different and the party can continue, that is until it’s time for a hangover.
  • Progressive periods are followed by regressive periods. Look no further than presidency of Abe Lincoln (abolishing slavery) followed by Andrew Johnson and the period of Reconstruction (which should be more aptly described as Destruction for recently freed slaves) and the advent of Jim Crow laws, segregation and the rise of the KKK. In sum, bad follows good.
  • Progress made in the 1950’s and 1960’s in terms of civil rights and desegregation but now there seems to be a rise in hate crimes, hate groups, and moves to restrict voting just to name a few.
  • Every period of chaos and disorder such as the Vietnam war protests and the race riots of the 1960’s, assasinations are followed by calls for “Law & Order” and a tilting back to strong man rule focusing on clamping down.
  • Every mass shooting is followed by calls for “thoughts & prayers” and a wringing of hands contemplating proposals to bring an end to that madness for which nobody can agree upon a common solution. History repeating itself in an insanity loop.

So what might we learn from the maddening cycle of repetition in both international and domestic relations. Since I’m a history buff who could watch the History Channel all day if I had the time, I suggest we take history more seriously. I know the STEM subjects in school are important (and more profitable) but unless we get a handle on history we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing if we started thinking outside of the box after every period of progressiveness and after every period of regressiveness and reactiveness. Only then will we avoid the trap of history repeating itself and the failure loop.

Ancestral history repeating itself

This segment of my blog takes a different turn. One of my cousins has been doing research on our ancestors going back to the days when Olliver Cromwell conquered Ireland subjecting it to British rule. Since I just retired, I contemplated how the occupations of my ancesters and their circumstances also seem to follow a historical cyclical pattern. I highlight the following to demonstrate this observation:

  • Ancestors in midland England (Irish but working near town of Darwin and the village of Aspull because that’s where the jobs were found) worked in coal mines and textile factories.
  • Fast forward to my USA ancestors working in the Portland CT brownstone quarries, mining brownstone
  • Further fast forward to me working 2 summers to pay for college working in the same brownstone quarry putting up fencing and working in a feldspar rock quarry in Middletown CT and then working during the year between college and grad school in a factory making cable cutters.
  • Most of my ancestors were cops going back several generations up to and including my father (campus cop) and several uncles.
  • Fast forward to me working for 15 years on weekends as a mall cop near my house. My dad in his 60’s decided after 30+ years working the midnight shift that it was time to retire. The incident that convinced him was the night he confronted a burglar in the campus bookstore. He and the burglar dashed outside only to confront eachother in the alleyway. Dad was unarmed and thankfully the burglar ran away. Likewise, while I was about age 64, I responded to a call that a shoplifter was being pursued by the victim. When they exited the mall and the shoplifter pulled his car from the parking stall, the victim jumped on the hood of his car. The vehicle with this guy hanging on the hood headed straight for me since I was positioned in the patrol vehicle. A head on collision was narrowly averted and the guy on the hood finally fell off without any major injuries. That’s when I decided (like my dad did) that it was time for retirement.
  • The last full time job I had before I retired was as an employment counselor at a nonprofit agency getting persons back in the workplace. The last job my mother had before she died was as an employment counselor for the Labor Dept. of the state of CT. Go figure.
  • My mother used to write articles for Readers Digest at night after dinner and now I’m an author who published a novel (Mall Child) and I’m working on a memoir and a nonfiction book following my passion for writing.
  • One of my son’s is a physicist (material sciences specialty) and his late uncle on his mothers side of the family was a nuclear physicist. Another ancestor on my wifes side of the family had an opportunity to attend Stanford University but had to decline due to family committments to support family back in the days of the Great Depression.
  • My daughter works in the film and video industry and my wife spend the best years of her working career in similar jobs at a cable tv production company and a couple of video production outfits.

Now that I have some more time on my hands, it has enabled me the opportunity to connect-the-dots, beome observant of patterns and trends, think-outside-the-box, and re-evaluate beliefs and values. I look forward to your observations and reflections.

Technology, Logic, Info/Evidence Based Society Rather Than Politics/Emotions Driven

Some years ago my sons suggested that government and society should be driven by science, technology and fact-based decision making. They are physics and computer science majors coming from the world of STEM (science, tech, engineneerig, math). As a political science major and history buff, I chaffed at this sterile notion of deciding everything free of the mushiness of emotion.

Over the years with increasing levels of polarization, fake news and the sheer idiocy and vulgarity demonstrated by our “leaders”, I have joined the thought camp of my sons.

A recent conversation in the gym locker room solidified my decision. It was not really a conversation. As I was changing and the tv was documenting the events of Trump turning himself in to be arrested (sort of a reverse slow speed chase reminiscent of the O.J. Simpson white bronco episode), I sensed that a young guy near me was itching to engage in disourse about the decline of America and what he though was the persecution of Trump. He appeared to be an angry young guy, clean cut, buffed and disolusioned with America with an axe to grind about liberals, progressives, the media and “the powers that be”.

Based on past experiences, I focused on changing my clothes since I knew that there was no hope of changing his ideas or his perspectives, at least not directly.

That’s when I floated the aforementioned notion of creating an entirely new approach to society in general and politics/government in particular. I suggested to this angry/disgruntled guy, the idea that maybe we should make decisions and set policies based entirely upon facts. Maybe government and policy making could be limited to a world where there is a clear distnction between right and wrong. I didn’t delve into an example such as “the global warming/climate change” topic since I did not want to get bogged down in that turf war. However, that would be a prime example of how fact driven, evidence based could drive decision making.

I further suggested that government and politics stay out of all the gray areas and emotional mine fields. I suggested that there seem to be plenty of laws on the books to address most infractions concerning….the basic human rights, the bill of rights….civil rights…. etc. He seemed to connect with my transitioning the conversation to a more libertarian, live and let live zone of thinking.

That’s when I realized that moving conversations to a “higher ground” and finding a “common ground” without touching the 3rd rail of political lables was the best strategy for exiting that jungle of animosity that envelops most conversations today whenever those conversations expand beyond traffic and weather conditions.

When I noticed that my young, angry, buffed friend was not fully grasping my tilt in the conversation and he still seemed hung up on retribution, recrimination and polarization, I offered the following analogy.

I asked him if he followed the Star Trek series. He said yes, “it was cool”.

I asked him if he liked the Spock character and he said “yes”.

I reminded him of how cool and emotionless Spock was in the face of impending disasters and how his ability to tackle everything in an analytical, methodical manor got them out of jams.

This he liked.

I also appealed to his good old fashioned support of capitalism and the private sector. I noted how businesses are driven by profit and loss not emotions and fanciful notions.

This he also liked.

I thought about mentioning to my young friend the Invisible Hand of economic theory and how this is the force behind all that happens. I thought about explaining this notion of “the force” as the ingredient that makes everything else (government, politics, current events and the latest gossip and drama) inconsequential. I thought about connecting the Invisible Hand theory of capitalism to Star Wars since I had good luck connecting to Star Trek. Then I thought better of it, fearing that I might be overloading this young padwan.

So I left him with the concept that maybe government could be limited to functioning in a strictly evidence-based, big-picture, long term planning mode and leave the passion driven endeavors up to the individuals (as long as those passions did not violate the aforementioned rights/liberties of others).

The conversational mission was accomplished (maybe) since a polarizing conversation was avoided. An outside-the-box concept was floated and no political names or lables soiled the interaction.

This conversation reminded me of other interactions I had where a balance of tough-love, consequences-compassion gets infused with the discourse thereby avoiding the train wreck that invariably results from the “my way or the highway” conversation.

Another advantage to this “higher ground”, blue-sky approach to potentially hostile conversations is the fact that if the conversant keeps referting to their hot topic concern of the day, then it’s a signal for me to give up on any big-thinking. At that point, I know I’m conversing with a fixated person whose opinions are set in stone. An example of this might be the person who can not get over the fact that Collin Kapernack took a knee during the national anthem despite the fact that I explained that it was a symbolic gesture of protest over something he felt strongly about (i.e., police brutality). Fixated thinking will not allow insights concerning the arc of history and visionary thinking. If we consider every surge of innovation and advancement in world history, it’s been when the exploratory thinking (i.e, the Renaissance, Reformation, Age of Reason) replaced the mundane thinking (Dark Ages of years past and the book banning of today).

Maybe I will deploy this diversionary, higher ground tactic as I move forward with other conversations, especially as the 2024 election approaches. I’m looking forward to your thoughts/suggestions (and check out this outside-the-box approach that’s baked into my novel Mall Child and my blogs).

Rethinking & Rebranding Malls

Reflections by a former mall cop and current author….

I live 1 block from the mall. Sirens wale and cop cars zoom to the mall, especially on Friday and Saturday nights responding to fights and roving crowds of loud, beligerent youths. I certainly don’t miss those mall cop days. Since I’m also a retired city planner and economic developer who is currently working in the mental health field, I suggest the following big-picture, long term strategy for systemic change and an entirely different dynamic:

Maybe it’s time for my mall (and malls in general) to transition away from the term “mall” and move to the term/concept “campus”:

Education scene vector illustration. Cartoon young happy student characters sitting on summer park green grass together, girl boy teens studying near university or college building facade background

Why:

  • Mixed use sites including residential, commercial/retail, entertainment and education create a natural synergy. Residents in proximity to retailers are likely to be shoppers. Workers on-site will frequent restaruants for lunch and dinner. Entertainment venues will generate repeat visitors. Educational and enriching events might offer inspiration to youths as a replacement for rumbling. Such events could include (but not be limited to), book launches (selfishly suggesting my Mall Child novel), poetry slams, debates, cooking demonstrations, and all sorts of DIY events. Imaging that, a trip to the mall where you learned something, got inspired and did not get into a fight. Last, but not least, let’s consider establishing “Maker Spaces” at malls where entrepreneurs can experiment with “making/inventing” stuff. Let’s re-create the Yankee Ingenuity that New England is famous for.
  • Transit oriented development emphasizing mass transit and pedestrian orientations encourage a “village atmosphere” which includes mixes of generations, cultures, services and goods. Maybe we could get back to the New England tradition of the “town square”. Maybe even go further back to the European and Middle Eastern notion of “market place” or “bazaar” rather than the bizarreness of a sterile, hostile cavern of shallowness in the midst of isolating suburban sprawl.
  • Once malls transition to mixed use spaces occupied by persons who have a legitimate reason for being there (rather than hanging out and causing trouble), they become livable spaces enticing visitors. If the ratio of purposeful patrons far exceeds the proportion of mischeiveous patrons, the overall atmosphere and appeal of the site imporves.

The word “mall” has developed such a negative connotation that maybe “campus” is preferable. It harks back to college memories of a self-contained, identifiable area that includes sports/athletics, education, entertainment, residential areas and of course “retail” albiet on a smaller footprint since, after all, the site is still a “mall”.

Last but not least, college campuses engender a sense of pride and belonging (i.e., school spirit, mascots, alumni, etc.) so maybe if “malls” could transition to “community campuses” we might vere off the “mall decline path” that paralles the “downtown decline path” which ironically declined thanks the the malls.

As for some more specific proposals and logistical procedures, I highlight the following:

  • Maintain a police sub-station since the cops need an on-site place for paperwork, processing, meeting and temporarily holding persons subsequent to incidents/investigations.
  • Adjacent to the police sub-station, add what I call a “Recovery Room” staffed by counselors/therapists who can immediately provide counselling and redirecting to the disruptors (the belicose, disorderly, fighthing individuals). This room should be equiped with a large screen video feed which documents the incident (the fight, the disruptions, the rage, the arguments) so persns of all ages and juvenilles (with their parents/guardians present) could review what actually happened and how this behavior could be avoided going forward. To accomplish this level of video documention of incidents, I recommend a level of camera surveillance that mirrors that of the casinos. This level of camera documentation would leave no question as to “who did what to whom and what precipitated the incident”. The mall can still require the parties involved in disruptive behaviors be banned from the mall. The camera system would augment this policy. Likewise, charges can still be levied depending upon the severity of the infraction, the desire of aggrieved parties to press charges or the mall management should they also opt to press charges. Lastly, the option to apply criminal charges could be applied if the combatants (guardians/parents in the case of juvenilles) opted out of receiving the counselling and theraputic intervention offered in the wake of incidents. For a relatively minor infraction this “on-the-spot” theraputic intervention could be a “one-and-done” event. For more severe infractions (and following the recommendation of the police), a series of such theraputic interventions could be required. If the adult combatants or the parents/guardians of the juveniles reject the offer for theraputic interventions, they could always be required to go the traditional court/criminal justice route. In sum, this proposal offers a restorative justice scenario that might actually get to the root of anti- social issues rather that the traditional method of clogging up the courts. Getting to root causes is important is light of increasing gun violence and the cycle of retribution. The video documentation format would counter the claim by combatants that “it wasn’t me” or “he started it”. Making the combatant wait till the parent/guardian arrives and requiring everyone to view these videos while receiving counselling and guidance might be more effective than just requiring a Promise To Appear (PTA) at some future court date. The goal here is to get to the source of the destructive, anti-social behavior and immediately apply a sense of restorative justice and closure. This proposal is not just for unruly youths. In my years of working as a mall cop, I lost track of the number of shoplifting incidents and patron-merchant disputes that escalated to verbal threats and in some cases physical outbursts. What I have observed over 15 years is an escalation of rage (in the parking lot, in the store) with more and more persons living in an emotional hair-trigger mode. My proposal for the “Recovery Room” is to deploy the use of camera technology and professional mediators to “decellerate toddler outbursts” and address root causes to achieve lasting change. Many a time, I recall commenting to a youngster that if they continue on their angry path, they will not be successful or happy in life. Maybe my proposal could formalize this chat and actually bring the message home to them.
  • If this process consistently reinforces the notion that continued bad-behavior will result in criminal charges and banning from the site, those persons who are hell bent on raising hell at the mall will avoid future visits to the mall.
  • Design this “Recovery Room” to be a professional, inviting space with the technical video capabilities that will enable participants to review the circumstances that let them to this room This should be designed and staffed so participants (both juvenilles and parents/guardians) receive the counselling and guidance they need to understand why they act the way they do and what are some coping strategies to avert this negative behavior in the future. If done properly, this room, procedure and the strategy of tough-love should accomplish more lasting results that the traditional “catch em, charge em, release em”. The “Recovery Room” should not feel like a cinderblock cell from the Soviet Union era.
  • Maybe adjacent to the Recovery Room there could be the “Rage Room”. This could be a place where pent up anxieties could be released on items such as heavy boxing bags and other apparatus enabling persons to “blow off steam”. As someone who punches a heavy boxing bag to reduce stress, I vouch for the effectiveness of this. Rage Rooms are even gaining some traction as a commercial venture just as “Escape Rooms” have cropped up on the commercial market. Maybe there’s even some money to be made here among all sorts of patrons since after all the “mall” is still a retail space marketing.

So that’s my long-winded observation and proposal. I’d love your feedback and brainstorming on this topic. Some of these “outside-the-box” ideas have also been baked into my novel Mall Child so check it out on Amazon if you are interested.

Replace Mascots with Lower Tuition

With football season wrapping up, basketball season underway, and mascots dancing/prancing on sidelines and college tuitions keep going up. It got me to proposing that we ditch mascot hoopla and ditch tuition increases.

I got nothing specific against mascots, it’s more about what they represent:

  • Blind, hysterical affection for the school for no particular reason. Cut the tuition rate in half and I will become a mascot as the schools biggest fan hooting/hollering and doing cartwheels on the sideline.
  • Overpriced stadiums, bloated sports programs. Beef up the library and create learing labs with experiential learning experiences train students for real jobs. I’d rather be an employed alumni praising the value of my almamata rather than be an unemployed graduate tailgating in the parking lot.
  • Sports stats trump academic stats. Decide what’s important. Redirect sports programs to fitness programs. Redirect the college experience to focus on lifetime learners and lifetime exercisers. If you miss the culture of competition that accompanies mascot mania, why not create a scoring matrix that rewards advancement (lowered colesteral, lowered high blood pressure, lowered obesity, increased endurance, etc.)
  • Replace the age old expression “that’s a good school” with no particular reason that “it’s a good school” with the new expression “that’s a great school, I would never be in my job if I hadn’t gone there”. Now that’s something to be proud of.
  • Consider affordable no-frills colleges with no walls (including no sports stadium) and open sourse learning with certifications rather than infrastructure heavy, resort style college campuses. A side benefit might be the local gyms and sports leagues populated by students. Good for the town (economic development) and good for the students (social development where they get a taste of the real world). Maybe we should follow the european model where club leagues are the path to their version of professional sports and colleges retain an academic focus.

It will take time for this sea change to take place but I see it as the only long term path to vere away from the insanity of ever increasing tuition costs. Stop the madness, loose the culture of the mascots (sorry mascots, it’s nothing personal it’s just the super stucture that you represet).

Time for a 3-way political intersection to unclog the traffic jam

Arrow way with three options of road icon. Choice of pathway. Choose of decision in split of direction. Crossroad, uncertainty and choice opportunity. 3 directions on junction. Vector.

So who are the players in this intersection and what’s in it for each of them?

Fiscal Conservatives: Want limited spending. Emphasize ROI (return on investments). Focus upon practicality

Liberals & Progressives: Want a robust social safety net. Want government to lead the charge in public policies. Focus upon promise and potential.

Libertarians: Want limited government, emphasize social responsibility, self sufficiency. Want individuals to lead, not the government.

So how are these odd-bedfellows ever going to work together on anything?

The answer may lie with UBI (universal basic income) implemented in a very tough-love, no-nonsence mix of consequences & compassion. It’s ironic that I’m toting the advantages of UBI during Martin Luther King’s holiday remembrance since he advocated this approach in a speech not long before he was assasinated.

Why UBI? Why would a policy of awarding everyone $1,000/month in accordance with the following schedule be palatable for the above described odd-bedfellows? Here is my proposed schedule: If you are a single person household making more than $100,000/year, you don’t qualify. If you’re a 2 person household making more than $200,000, you don’t qualify. 3-person household making more than $300,000, don’t qualify and so on and on. Think about it….are people living above these incomes in their respective household sizes hurting financially and lacking adequate food, clothing, shelter? That’s the liberal/progressive in me speaking. If you’re above these income categories and not making ends meet (probably because of credit card debt and living above your means) then as they say “suck it up buttercup”. That’s the fiscal conservative/libertarian in me speaking.

Last but not least, implement UBI concurrent with elimination of all goverment programs (aka, welfare) with the exception of Section 8 for housing and food stamps since housing and food are such basic necessities. Also, keep Medicare and Medicaid in their current form (don’t expand them) and of course keep social securty (SSI and SSDI) in their current form but don’t expand them. Essentially cap the current costs while bearing in mind that elimination of any of the above programs/expenditures would be akin to touching the 3rd rail in the subway.

  • Fiscal conservatives will like this because it’s tough/auster and simple. You essentially cap the current costs while getting out of the business of creating winners and loosers in the game of dolling out funds and rolling out programs. Think KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). This approach would be akin to the proposal that we revamp our income tax structure so that your IRS filing is completed on a postcard (like they do in some European countries). That’s another good proposal (sorry H&R Block) that could easilly coincide with this UBI proposal but let’s save that for another blog.
  • Liberals/Progressives will like this because it includes the basic safety net ingredient. Furthermore, it will make their lives easier since it avoids nasty decisions about setting up competing programs for every conceivable disadvantaged interest group. They should like this format since rich folks are not sucking up the $1,000/month payments. The army of social workers, advocates and bureaucrats would likely shrink. The fiscal conservatives and the libertarians would applaud this. However, the liberals/progressives could find solace in the fact that the smaller footprint of social workers, advocates and bureaucrats would be much more effective since they could focus more on being life-coaches and counselors who actually help persons in distress rather than pushing papers, filing reports and explaining programs much to the frustration and confusion of those who are the intended beneficiaries of thes overly complicated programs.
  • Libertarians will like this because its all about freedom of choice. The “nanny state” as they like to refer to government is not mandating what you do with your $1,000/month payment. They would like the implication that we are all “big people wearing our big boy pants” who can make decisions for ourselves. If a person wants to eek by on $12,000/year, so be it. If that person wanted to pick up at least a part time job and make another $12,000/year (for example), so be it. Libertairians should like the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) orientation of UBI implemented in conjunction with a stripping away of all the bureacratic over-reach of the current myriad of programs.
  • Everyone should like the way this proposal avoids the trap of setting up animosities among beneficiaries who are always cognizent of “who gets what” and resentful if they feel they don’t get “their share”. If you are single and making over $100,00/year or you’re a couple making over $200,000/year (and so on), the average hard working person struggling to make ends meet and benefiting from UBI does not (and should not) worry about you. This is who I’m referring to as “everyone”. If “everyone” as I have defined them is relatively happy, the overall society will become less polarized. Then maybe the odd-bedfellows (the trinity of conervatives, liberals and libertarins) might actually pull together behind this.

Since I’m a history buff, I remind you that throughout history, the mantra of the “powers that be” has been “divide and conqurer” It works in military combat, domestic politics, labor-management relations, racial and ethnic relations and even within families. The simplicity and even-handedness of UBI coupled with the “tough love” element of stripping away all the mind-boggling, complicated, over-bearing bureaucratic administration of programs might provide a path we all can take to escape this forrest of polarization and animosity.

One last thought.…what about those persons who demonstrate that they absolutely can not manage their $1,000/month stipend because of mismanagement, addictions, etc. Studies have shown that where UBI has been implemented, the proportion of persons falling in this category is lower than what we anticipate. I use myself as an example. Once I started receiving social security (which is like UBI), it freed me up to pursue my writing and get my first novel published. Prior to that, I was working 2 jobs full time Mon-Fri and weekend gig jobs for over 25 years as a security guard. Think of the creativity that could have been unleashed if I had been able to pursue my writing avocation all these years. Maybe I could have been another Steven King novelist (ok that’s a stretch). Thankfully, I do not have an addictive personality (at least not yet) so financial backing has not turned me into a gambler or alcoholic. Now multiply my example by millions who might be freed up to do the writing, painting, inventing, and business starting thanks to the confidence that a basic financial safety net provides. Can you smell the GDP growing? Now that’s an odor that everyone (conservatives, liberals and libertarians and everyone in between) could enjoy.

There still needs to be some consideration for beefing up the system of conservatorships (fiscal conservativeship and full conservatorship) for those in severe need or establishment of a representative payee arrangement for those who by their actions display an inability to manage finances and ultimately harm themselves. I end on this point since most persons reaction when I mention UBI is to say ” their just going to piss it away”.

As always, feedback is encouraged and let’s keep thinking creatively to break out of the polarization box. This is my tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King and all persons who think outside the box, plan for a brighter future, and look boldly and positively toward that future.

Live Free Or Die….Evolve or Die

We’re all familiar with the New Hampshire motto, very straightforward. With my kids now living/working in the unaffordable greater Boston area, we’ve been looking at southern NH for housing opportunnities….if such opportunities exist. We’re open to any suggestions or leads among readers.

As for the NH motto, we suggest expanding it to EVOLVE OR DIE

Why?

  • Global warming/climate change. Need I explain any further?
  • Politics: Dems need to continue to evolve into the “party of the future” with bold policies addressing seemingly intractable problems. I’m channelling the Star Treck line “to boldly go where no man has gone before”. To go to a place where there are no mass shootings, nobody starves or freezes, college costs & prescription costs and hospital costs do not bankrupt you. As for the GOP, they evolve back to a party of fiscal restraint, international restraint & common sense replaces craziness. Imagine that, positive evolution where EVERYBODY wins. Like I said, evolve or die.
  • Personal evolution: Technology advances, you need to do likewise. Relationships evolve….sadly some people pass away, others change (and not for the better), estrangements become inevitable as attitudes, perspectives and philosophies change (some not for the better), relationships need to be re-kindled (where practical) and new relationships need to be ignighted. Watch for more relationship reflections in my upcoming memoir entitled Exit Interview: A Memoir of Family, Friends and Acquaintances. Advice and insights from which we all might benefit.

In sum, without evolution there is devolution.

Live free or die, certainly true.

Evolve or die, certainly needed.

Odd but necessary bedfellows: Economic Engines & Neighborhood Empowerment

Definitions are in order:

What’s an ecomomic engine?

  • Large projects that generate significant tax revenues, jobs, highly visibly physical improvments. These are signature projects that “put a community on the map”, generate community pride/purpose/identity. Back in the day it was the auto industry for Detroit, the steel industry for Pittsburgh, the insurance industry for Hartford CT. Nowadays, it’s computer industry for Silicon Valley and San Francisco, Seattle, etc. Back in the day, it was a deep water port for shipping (i.e. NYNY), train station (i.e., Chicago and many mid-western and western cities), Interstate highway system (i.e., where the exit/entrance ramps appeared, so did the development).
  • It’s the projects that generate positive ROI (return on investment). It’s the projects that make economic sense and serve a purpose and fill a need. It’s NOT the boondoggles (i.e, the olympic stadiums that now lie idle, the bridges to nowhere, the projects grounded on the wishfull thinking that “if we build it, they will come” and they never came).

What’s Neighborhood Empowerment?

  • It’s when the neighborhood residents do not get displaced (or at least if there is transitions and relocations, there are adequate compensations).
  • It’s when the neighborhood residents are partners in development, have a voice, provide input and there is measurable improvement in their quality of live (i.e., lower crime, improved physical appearance, etc.)

So who are the “odd bedfellows” and how might there be a copasetic relationship?

  • Consider Tax Increment Financing for every economic engine project so that the tax revenues generated by this successful project are plowed back into the immediately surrounding neighborhood (affordable housing, education, community based policing, restorative justice/violence mitigation, etc.). Consider the above scenario building out in concentric rings of improvement so that there is a direct connection between the economic engine and areas immediately impacted by the development. In sum, replace the tank like jaugernaut method of economic engines with a synergistic chugging forward by the economic engine. If not going down the Tax Increment Financing route, consider establishment of a Special Taxing District where taxes raised within the “district” are plowed back into the area to address the needs of that area. To paraphrase the slogan of Berger King, this financing formula would be akin to “having it your way” so everybody remains happy.
  • Consider a direct correlation between what each bedfellow needs. They both need safety/security, domonstrable visual improvement, sense of pride and purpose. There needs to be a “life-raft” mentality where each needs the other rather than the traditionally combattive relationship that sets up a have’s vs. have-nots relationship.
  • Consider the consequence/compassion (tough love) matrix that permeates this proposal and my blogs. The consequence is the economic engine delivering economic success. The neighbrhood delivers stability and security. The compassion is the economic engine plowing back revenues into the surrounding neighborhood. The compassion is the neighborhood finally feeling like a valued partner rather than a competitor. As I type this I become starry eyed as I “feel the love”.

So that’s my suggestion after 30+ years working in the community development, economic development, community organizing, and afforable housing fields seeing what works and what does not.

As always, let me know your ideas and look for more proposals in my blogs that fall withing the heading of “Manifesto of Big Ideas”. (my kids hate if when I use the term “manifesto” but I assure them that I express it with no ill-intent)

The Sweet Spot

With the mid-term elections now behind us and the presidential election looming within 2 years, I’ve been fixated on finding the political/cultural Sweet Spot where some sense of unity can pull us out of this morass of polarization. When my candidate for state representative came up short on the election tally for the 3rd time against an entrenched incumbent despite a flawless, vigerous campaign, it gave me pause to consider “whats the sweet spot” to achieve change and success.

I’m having flashbacks to math classes when the teacher harped about the importance of the overlapping center of the venn diagrams, that common denominator that included elements of both circles.

To figure out who makes up this all important “swing vote”, sweet spot of the center, I decided to discount those who will never occupy the mid-point.

They are highlighted as the following:

  • The pro-life camp. They will never consider another candidate no matter how immoral or eggregious the behavior of their pro-life candidate.
  • The gun rights, 2nd amendment camp. Likewise, they can’t consider any other candidate no matter what they say or do.
  • A pro-life AND gun rights camper is definitely someone to court for the middle ground.
  • Anybody in the conspratorial, disgruntaled, disgusted, angry, apathetic camp is unlikely to be swayed by logic or arguments.
  • A recent conversation I had demonstrates the futility of conversing and attempting to convert persons from any of the above referenced camps. The person mentioned a couple of times how Bin Ladin and Obama share a strong resemblance implying that they might actually be the same person. I asked this person if he believed it to be true that Bin Ladin and Obama might be the same person. He initially said he did not believe this. However, he mentioned the notion a couple more times and it was obvious he had been influenced by this fantastical, conspiracy thinking. When I asked him what was the source of this info, he was not sure and followed up with a statement that he trusts none of the traditional news outlets. He finally noted that he did not like Obama or Biden and he liked Regan claiming that Democrats are too sympathetic to gays (even though he indicated he has nothing against gays). He topped off the conversation with notation that Democrats are too liberal big spenders who are morally compromised. That’s when I abandoned all hope of common ground.
  • To steal a line from the Soprano’s, I would say, “fogget about em”.

Back to contemplating where to find the holy grail of the swing voter, I reflected back on a conversation I had with a resident while knocking on doors supporting my candidate.

The person noted he voted for Bernie (good start) indicating he was an independent thinker who votes for the person and not just the party. He expressed skepticism about the “powers that be”. He expressed animosity, distrust for career politicians of both parties. Still good because my candiate would have been a first term state representative. However, he seemed bent on the topic of wastful spending. Coming from the private sector with graduate degrees and seeming to be affluent, he focused on R.O.I (Return On Investment with results driven policies). So far still good since we still seemed to be on the same page advocating zero based budgeting and not funding programs “just because we funded them before”. Still good but I sensed that he still was not fully on-board with my candidate who is generally a progressive candidate. Taxes were a hot-button topic for him and he perceved an unfairness to the middle and upper class who he felt pay an inordinate amount of taxes. When the conversation turned to matters of crime and punishment, he took a conservative turn with a focus on consequences (i.e, do the crime, do the time) and the lack of personal responsibility throughout society. I tried to emphasize the importance of severe sentancing for violent criminals while applying restorative justice, rehabilitation for non-violent offenders. We both agreed that the term Defund the Police should not be used since it sends an incorrect message. When I described rethinking how we do policing by deploying cops to scenes with a team of social workers and/or peer counselors, he did not object and he remained polite but I’m not sure if he was fully on board.

So how did he vote? I’ll never know. Maybe he didn’t even vote. He was an interesting guy…well educated, affluent, seemingly concerned/thoughfull. In sum, the suburban voter that’s coveted by both parties.

So how might we best pull this voter into the Democratic camp. I highlight the following suggesstions:

  • Emphasize CONSEQUENCES and COMPASSION (in this order) always starting with consequences in the converstion. If you start by assuring this person that you insist on personal responsibility mandating consequences for your actions, you can then move on to discussing programs/policies that include COMPASSION offering more coprehensive approaches to vexing social issues.
  • Emphasize specific examples of wasteful spending and superfluous, rediculous bureaucratic regulations. Now you have his attention and possibly support.
  • If you can build rapport and trust based upon the aforementioned conversational approaches, you might have a chance of pulling this type voter into your camp.
  • I present this proposal with the following major caveat. If you find yourself “selling your soul” trying to present your case for a balance between CONSEQUENCES and COMPASSION, it might be time to “draw a line in that sand” . If you are agreeing to cutting taxes and removing bureaucracy but at the expense of programs designed for the greater good, then it might be time to “draw the line in that sand”.

The magical sweet spot seems to be getting smaller and smaller and harder to find in this polarized world of news echo chambers. However, if the Democratic candidate can convince this type of voter that he/she will cut waste, cut bureaucracy, punish violent criminals, slow the expanion of government and stay out of the social/cultural wars , maybe we can draw that voter away from the radical right wing/conservative camps to find their way to the voting booth.

If these “fence sitters” can be convinced and the Democratic base can be motivated to show up, maybe that’s the long term solution. That said, I’m not sure how many “fence sitters” actually exist. I’m also getting an increasing feeling that it’s increasingly difficult to pull support from persons who are a combination of anger, distrust, apathy and affluence. My observation is that they tilt conservative/reactionary from the comfort of suburbia no matter how emphatic and energetic the presentation made to them.

I hate to end on this melancholy note so I’m throwing out the question “What’s your thoughts?”