As I scroll thru social media, conduct business, attend meetings, knock on doors and make phone calls while canvassing, I crave the following in all relationships:
Compatibility (aka, likability) with the other person
Logic (aka, consistency, dependability) with the other person
Trustworthiness of the other person.
I can put up with some quirkiness if the other person meets the aforementioned characteristics. For example, the person might believe that the world is flat. I disagree and by all indications this position is fallacious. Likewise, there are some persons who insist that the moon landing never occurred. We can differ as to whether there was only one assassin of JFK or maybe there were multiple shooters. However, nobody is being directly harmed by these beliefs and barring too many other outlandish opinions, I could probably maintain a copasetic relationship.
I can also appreciate that there are some differences of opinions and beliefs that are non-negotiable for some people due to deep-seated religious or moral reasonings. Examples might be “Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice” or the “Death Penalty pros-cons”. These are rabbit holes that I chose to NOT go down as long as the following criterias are met:
I find the person compatible/likeable
I acknowledge their right to their position (and they acknowledge the right to my positions/opinions).
I can maintain some level of trustworthiness that is grounded in mutual respect
So, what might be the litmus test that determines “go” or “no-go” with this person in business and personal relationships? The following four situational questions will determine for me if continued engagement with the other person is worth the time and effort.
- When Biden became president did you believe that the election was stolen?
- Do you believe that the Jewish holocaust by Nazi Germany did not happen?
- Do you believe that the mass shooting of the school children in Newtown CT was fake news?
- Do you believe that all the participants of the January 6th insurrection at the U.S. Capital should have been pardoned?
If you answered YES to any or all of these questions, there is no point to going further in our business or personal relationship. Any “YES” answer is for me “a bridge too far”.
If you answered “I don’t know” or “I don’t wish to comment” or “I don’t really care or I have no opinion” concerning any or all of the aforementioned questions, this tells me volumes about you. None of which is positive. It raises questions about your level of empathy, your consciousness about the world around you, your courageousness to take a stand and express an opinion. No matter how friendly you might be or how skilled you are at what you do, these types of answers make me question your reasoning abilities, your critical thinking and moral grounding. From this point onward, my compatibility and trust level is greatly diminished. I’ve gotten to the point in life when I no longer have the time, energy and patience to deal with persons who make such responses.
Now it’s your turn to ask questions of me to determine if I am the sort of person that you might need to terminate any business or personal relationship. What might be some beliefs and opinions that I hold which you find so odious and incomprehensible that you would need to sever ties?
I’m curious concerning what situational questions you might pose to me which, depending upon my responses, would make you question my compatibility, likability, logic and trustworthiness.
As always, I look forward to any and all feedback.
Dunn Writes Well 